I love and hate when I have a vision of how my short story will go but once I get to a certain point….I realize, “…well, this can go the way I planned, or I can totally NOT do that and it can go THIS way…” -Problem with that is the new plot is taking longer than I had planned, but that is just a tiny problem that can be overlooked. The part I love, is that I am able to do that in the first place. It’s a moment where, as a writer, you are at a crossroad. That moment you’re faced with the realization that this can go SO many ways, is when you enjoy writing the most.
The tide comes in and pulls at my feet. For a moment I feel like I am being dragged out to sea as the water quickly surrounds my ankles, pulling the sand back in with it. Its a quick feeling of insecurity. Insecure of where I stand, because for that moment the world behind me seems further away and the water feels almost powerful enough to drag my entire body.
The fresh breeze hits the back of my neck and I feel like there is nothing around that will even notice my very tiny existence. I am one of many out here, and I am but a stranger to the world. Will this feeling ever subside? This moment is what entraps my entire being, what is clarity.
Before I begin to evaluate my lone state, I realize that at this very moment, it is the best state to be in.
My mom is sitting at the dining room table fighting with an automated system. She’s trying to order some christmas gifts via the lakeside collection catalog. My sister is sitting in the opposite side of the room trying to get her wireless internet to work… Its been us girls for a while now and its comfortable around here. After my mom got sick and almost died last november…she’s been taking it a lot lighter. She has more time now with my nephew…and well…my sister and I don’t have to deal with the stress she use to bring home from work. The seasons are changing and we are all getting older but one thing has always stayed the same. The love my family shares is unbreakable. My brother moved out almost 6 years ago when he married…and well its really nice having everyone close together.
I hear my mom’s automated enemy repeating her shipping information so I’m assuming she’s almost done. Lol. Im in the middle of doing laundry and trying to pack a bit for my trip tomorrow.
I thought I’d take a nice break to begin my wordpress blog. I doubt anyone will read this but my boyfriend says I need an outlet. . . So here I am. Until next time! Goodnight everyone!